Me and Jesus in the Office

Today Jesus and I sat for a spell in the office. I just purchased a copy of "Skeleton Bones" by John Mark McMillan and it came with a free copy of the "How He Loves" video recently released.

I watch this video and hear the words - I hear the cries out to a living God who does more than satisfy, a God who LOVES beyond all understanding - and I find it almost impossible to continue on with anything else. Instead I feel this halt in my thoughts, a silence in my ears of everything else that surrounds - cars, wind, people - and a violent turn in my chest like a wave that sweeps over the shore and takes everything back with it. I am swept into this ocean of God's agape love - love that does not ignore my sin, but instead reveals it to me. Love that tells me to let go of my chains and hold fast to this God-man who gave His very life for me.

He wasn't a "pretty" blonde hair, blue-eyed fella on a smooth, sanded cross. No! He was a Middle-Eastern man that was battered, bruised, crushed, bloody, torn and tattered on a cross that was hideous. He was a man that endured so much pain and torment - physically, emotionally, and spiritually - for me. He wasn't just a peaceful "pretty" guy. He was a warrior! He is my warrior! He loves FIERCELY and PASSIONATELY and UNCONDITIONALLY.

So yes, as I sit in my office in the midst of the work of the day - finances, cleaning, project planning - this warrior King comes and sits a spell with me. He floods my heart with raw emotion and passion and reminder of this beautifully violent love He has for me. It is so good to know of His love for others, but sometimes He also just reminds me that He loves me.

Goodness, John Mark, thank you for listening to the Spirit's leading! Your lyric sums it up: "I don't have time to maintain these regrets / When I think about / The way / He loves [me]!"

Even in my messy office, He meets me here. We sit for a spell and He fills my cup; "it runneth over." He reminds me of this: His passionate, fierce love is not just during emotional songs on Sundays, not just at 11:00 pm during devotions, not just during a traumatic event, but always. Unconditional and infinite. Goodness, help me come closer, Lord.

And just so it's said, I love you too, Lord. Fiercely.