Thursday, Thursday, oh so crazy!

Today has been insane.  Office from 9-10:10ish.  Diane trained me in on the front desk so that I would know what to do while she's on vacation next week.  (I'm so happy for her...she needs a break!)  10:10 - I ran home to grab my uniform skirt and tunic (I wore pants today, forgetting about Fall Festival for Older Adult Ministries).  11:00-2:00 - Fall Festival  2:00-2:45 - Drop offs (great conversation with one of our ladies in the car).  2:30 - home which included cleaning, laundry, a load of dishes and making dinner - teriyaki steak.  SO good!  I'll be making that pretty often in the future. :)  5:00-6:00 - eating and doing Bible Study Fellowship Homework.  They ran out of assignments last week, so I had to get mine off the internet.  6:00 - left for BSF.  Just got home at 9:30. I try not to leave the office until after four, but today it would have been silly to go in for and hour and a half...it takes me a little while to focus. ;)  So I checked Lotus at home and answered emails.

I had a banana and some unsweetened applesauce for breakfast.
I planned my lunch, but forgot about Fall Festival. There I ate baked chicken breast (with a little sauce), vegetables, and yukon gold potatoes ...probably shouldn't have dived into them...potatoes can be a downfall for me. ;)  Admittedly, I ate two bites of cake, then stopped myself.
For dinner I had teriyaki steak, string cheese, and a glass of organic vanilla milk (Horizon or something like that - no artificial sweetener, all organic ingredients). 

I'm finding that the most difficult part of this challenge is coming up with the time to make everything.  I enjoy it when I am cooking, but simply haven't enough time to do as much as I wanted to. :(
I now need to vacuum my room as I left carpet sprinkles on the floor.  (Smells good!)
Blessings to you, my friends!

FYI - I HATE box elder bugs. I do not understand God's purpose for them in this world.

Oh, Wednesday!

Today was tougher on the challenge.  Wednesdays = insanity.  Breakfast was oatmeal (no sweetener) with frozen berries and fresh sliced banana.  Lunch was during a meeting at DHQ (Christmas planning - Coat's for Kids, Adopt-A-Family, Toy Shop, etc.), so I tried to make good choices.  All veggies from the veggie platter and then three pieces of Roast Beef lunch meet and one piece of cheese (no bun). 

During dinner I was very tempted to give in to the good smelling pizza that was served at youth/family activities - but I had some leftover Acorn Squash soup and carrots with dip.  When I came home I had grapes and I think I'm about to go for some unsweetened applesauce. :)

Tomorrow morning .... pancakes! 
Sleep well, friends.

Alison's Healthy Eating Plan Pour Moi! :)

Well friends, I have joined a challenge put on by my friend Alison.  You should check out her blog (click on her name), she has more information on the challenge and YUMMY recipes.

This week, I am eating only foods that I've prepared.  In addition, no artificial sweeteners, canned/boxed foods, and...wait for it....no Diet Coke.  I will admit that the lack of Diet Coke has been by far the hardest.  I drank about 11 bottles of water yesterday.  So far I've had 8 today and about 32 oz of iced green tea.  There have been a few casualties - including a burnt stomach from splashing acorn squash, but over all it's been good.   I'm trying foods I haven't eaten before - and loving them! 

I started Monday with breakfast - Soaked Whole Wheat Muffins with Berries. Here's a picture of them before they were cooked:

I ate a bajillion carrots with ranch for a late lunch.  Dinner took a while to make from scratch.
Chicken Tetrazinni:

For snacking - I tend to be hungry more often since I'm not eating a ton of meat at breakfast like usual - I eat carrots or unsweetened applesauce (which is my FAVORITE).

Breakfast today consisted of oatmeal with frozen mixed berries and sliced banana. Yum!

I had leftover chicken tetrazinni for an early lunch. 

Dinner was Acorn Squash Soup.  Admittedly, I didn't think I'd like it. I'm not a huge squash person, but I LOVED it!  Plus I have about two servings left for later! 

I'm about to go eat some grapes! :)  I'll try to keep posting during the week so you can see what's up!
Oh yes, and if you'd like the recipes, just email me - or check out Alison's Blog.

Blessings!

Faithfulness, Faithfulness is What I Long For

God has been speaking to my heart a lot lately concerning faithfulness.

So many times I have found myself paralyzed by the thought/"feeling" of something not being the way it should be.  Logically, as a believer, this should spurn me on to make good of it. Yet, I have often whined and complained about "my lot" instead.

I was speaking with a good friend about a situation I have currently found myself in.  I told her of how I have been tempted to just throw my hands in the air and give up.  She reminded me of Jeremiah 29.  Yes, the eleventh verse ("For I know the plans I have....) is important, but have you ever looked at the context of the chapter?  Verse 4 begins a letter sent King Nebuchadnezzar in Babylon.  It says
         This is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile from Jerusalem
         to Babylon...

Notice especially "those I carried into exile."  The people of Israel were in captivity in Babylon.  What else?  God placed them there!  Admittedly, my first reaction when I see these things is to ask, "Why, Lord?  Why?  Are you not the God of freedom?" 

The letter continues with exhortations to the captive Israelites to "build houses and settle down," marry, plant gardens, have children, and seek peace.  Seemingly strange.  You are in captivity; now, take your coat off and stay a while.  In fact, this while was to be a period of seventy years (v. 10).  During this time the Israelites were to "Pray to the LORD for [Babylon], because if it prospers, [they would] too" (v. 7). 

When I think about the times that I have felt taken captive (physically, emotionally, and spiritually), I realize the farthest thought from my mind was to stay a while.  Instead my body jumps into immediate panic mode.  All of my senses become hyper-sensitive.  There is no fight response, it is all flight.  My mind screams, "ESCAPE. NOW!"  How dare I become captive?  Yet, here God is saying to pray for what I am held captive by, because if it prospers I will too. 

Then, the ever-so-popular verse 11 appears; "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to vie you hope and a future."  So often, we quote this verse to people when they are worried, uncomfortable, in poor situations.  Is this wrong? Not necessarily, but should we not be aware of the context?  Verse 12 explains the captivity and why God told His people to continue on in life. "Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you."  The "then" is so important.  God allows us to be taken captive (not out of His reach though) so that we will realize our need for Him.


God does not waste moments of our life.  He does not waste trials.  God is not wasteful.  Period. 

I believe this passage is a call to faithfulness for God's people.  He knows that we will find ourselves "captive" in one form or another during our life. And, ironic as it may be, He knows that if we spend all of our energy and resources on trying to escape we will find ourselves more bound up than before.  Instead, He tells us to trust Him, to be faithful to Him and to doing what He has called us to do [live life abundantly], and to yearn for Him.  He tells us to use all of our energy and resources on seeking Him - our true escape.

Verse 13 says, "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,' declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity.  I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,' declares the LORD, 'and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile."

I'm currently reading "Uprising" by Erwin Raphael McManus.  He relates the importance of faithfulness to God-given potential.  Just like God gave the resources while they were in captivity to be cared for and expected them to use them, He asks the same of us. 




If you want to really understand the next quote, you'll need to read the parable of the talents.  (The link goes to a copy of Matthew 25:14-30. 

McManus says the following:
     "This parable establishes God's measure for our lives.  God sees not only who we are, but who we can become.  When we neglect our God-given capacity, when we refuse to maximize our God-given potential, it is wickedness in the sight of God.  How would it change the work of the church if our measure of effectiveness was not how little sin was being done, but how much good was being accomplished?  We have seen with clarity that a life lived against God is wicked, but have we ever seen as clearly that to live a life beneath our divine capacity is equally dishonoring to God?  To not have that opportunity is tragic.  To relinquish it, to neglect it, to reject it is wicked in the sight of God (pg. 185). 

So basically, if I'm not moving forward, I'm moving backward.  What's my job, even when I'm in captivity?  To be faithful. To embrace my God-given capacity and to run forward in His calling. 

"Faithfulness, faithfulness if what I long for..."

He sure must love me if He hasn't given up on me by now.  Did you know He loves you too?

Me and Jesus in the Office

Today Jesus and I sat for a spell in the office. I just purchased a copy of "Skeleton Bones" by John Mark McMillan and it came with a free copy of the "How He Loves" video recently released.

I watch this video and hear the words - I hear the cries out to a living God who does more than satisfy, a God who LOVES beyond all understanding - and I find it almost impossible to continue on with anything else. Instead I feel this halt in my thoughts, a silence in my ears of everything else that surrounds - cars, wind, people - and a violent turn in my chest like a wave that sweeps over the shore and takes everything back with it. I am swept into this ocean of God's agape love - love that does not ignore my sin, but instead reveals it to me. Love that tells me to let go of my chains and hold fast to this God-man who gave His very life for me.

He wasn't a "pretty" blonde hair, blue-eyed fella on a smooth, sanded cross. No! He was a Middle-Eastern man that was battered, bruised, crushed, bloody, torn and tattered on a cross that was hideous. He was a man that endured so much pain and torment - physically, emotionally, and spiritually - for me. He wasn't just a peaceful "pretty" guy. He was a warrior! He is my warrior! He loves FIERCELY and PASSIONATELY and UNCONDITIONALLY.

So yes, as I sit in my office in the midst of the work of the day - finances, cleaning, project planning - this warrior King comes and sits a spell with me. He floods my heart with raw emotion and passion and reminder of this beautifully violent love He has for me. It is so good to know of His love for others, but sometimes He also just reminds me that He loves me.

Goodness, John Mark, thank you for listening to the Spirit's leading! Your lyric sums it up: "I don't have time to maintain these regrets / When I think about / The way / He loves [me]!"

Even in my messy office, He meets me here. We sit for a spell and He fills my cup; "it runneth over." He reminds me of this: His passionate, fierce love is not just during emotional songs on Sundays, not just at 11:00 pm during devotions, not just during a traumatic event, but always. Unconditional and infinite. Goodness, help me come closer, Lord.

And just so it's said, I love you too, Lord. Fiercely.

Your Love is Strong

Admittedly, sometimes I feel like crap. Today seems to be one of those days. Sometimes I just want to scream, "Lord, what's the point!!!" And yet, I am reminded that He's got it under control. He's not leaving me. He's not forsaking me. He's there. In fact, He's holding me. Goodness, I'm just beginning to learn what "Jesus loves me, this I know" really means. 18 years after I learn the song and it's just beginning to click. My head always knew, but now my heart understands.

Goodness, Lord, when I have no idea what I'm doing on a grant request, You love me.
When I feel so very incompetent to do anything, You love me.
When I feel imprisoned in life, You love me.
When I am shackled in sin, You love me.
When I break free, You love me.
I WANT TO LOVE LIKE YOU. I want to live in Your love every moment of my life and never forget You or Your mission. I want to be with You where You are, Lord!

Sometimes Lord, the only word I can seem to utter is, "Help." Even then, You know what my heart is trying to say (Romans 8:26-28). Even then, You know how You will work it for my good.

So Lord, even when I "feel" like crap; thank You. Thank You for loving me and holding me close to Your heart.

Your Love is Strong - Jon Foreman
Heavenly Father
You always amaze me
Let your kingdom come
In my world and in my life
You give me the food I need
To live through the day
And forgive me as I forgive
The people that wronged me
Lead me far from temptation
Deliver me from the evil one

I look out the window
The birds are composing
Not a note is out of tune
Or out of place
I look at the meadow
And stare at the flowers
Better dressed than any girl
On her wedding day

So why do I worry?
Why do I freak out?
God knows what I need
You know what I need

Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong

The kingdom of the heavens
Is now advancing
Invade my heart
Invade this broken town
The kingdom of the heavens
Is buried treasure
Will you sell yourself
To buy the one you've found?

Two things you told me
That you are strong
And you love me
Yes, you love me

Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong

Our God in heaven
Hallowed be
Thy name above all names
Your kingdom come
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven
Give us today our daily bread
Forgive us wicked sinners
Lead us far away from our vices
And deliver us from these prisons

Insomniac.

rest - noun

1.	the refreshing quiet or repose of sleep: a good night's rest.

2.	refreshing ease or inactivity after exertion or labor: to allow an hour for rest.

3.	relief or freedom, esp. from anything that wearies, troubles, or disturbs.

4.	a period or interval of inactivity, repose, solitude, or tranquillity: to go away for a rest.

5.	mental or spiritual calm; tranquillity.

6.	the repose of death: eternal rest.

7.	cessation or absence of motion: to bring a machine to rest.

I spent last night staring at a ceiling...for hours. Turned out the lights at 11...pretty sure my eyes didn't close the first time until about 2:00. Three hours later, wide awake for another 30-45 minutes. If I'm being completely honest, I find this sleeplessness more annoying than anything else. If you haven't already read the little blurb on the left side of this blog...you should.

For years I have looked to sleep, this time of rest, as my hideaway. How easy to escape the pressures and terrors of this world by simply shutting down for a period of time. Yet the mind wanders, even in sleep - it is not a true escape...reality is still there. Every day would consist of waking up, fighting through the day, and finally "resting" in sleep. Not life at all.

Perhaps my attention needs to be redirected to my true Escape.
In the words of Relient K:

Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I’ve gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I’ve gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging
You to be my escape.

I stumbled across the following verses in Proverbs 3:

My son, preserve sound judgment and discernment,
do not let them out of your sight;

²² they will be life for you,
an ornament to grace your neck.

²³ Then you will go on your way in safety,
and your foot will not stumble;

²⁴ when you lie down, you will not be afraid;
when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.

²⁵ Have no fear of sudden disaster
or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked,

²⁶ for the LORD will be your confidence
and will keep your foot from being snared.

Sweet sleep...that's what I'm looking forward to. Sleep can no longer be my confidence - the LORD must. Yes, sleep is important - our bodies were created to need rest. However, not every form of rest will come from sleep.

And yes, these have been the ramblings of a sleep deprived person. :)
And even as I lie awake, staring at the ceiling, my God is there. Bringing me the rest I need, rest in Him, rest in my Saviour's arms.